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Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Taking a Trip
We're heading to Utah tomorrow for a week. It's sort of a vacation. "A vacation under sad circumstance." is what David has called it.

One of my best friends passed away unexpectedly last month. She was only 68, her husband is 79. We thought we'd see her again, that we'd get to do things and hang out, kid around and tease each other. Go on a trip to Mexico together. Pry her secret recipes out of her, wince as she beat me at arm wrestling for the millionth time.... Anyway....

Who knows? you never know what's going to happen. Not from one day to the next. in recovery, it's drilled into you to live one day at a time. but it's so easy to forget and start to take things for granted.

so... i haven't thought about going to Utah until i had to pack today. i couldn't think about it. i still can't. i know i'm not dealing with my grief. i don't think i know how. not with this. it's the same devastation as if it were my mother or sister. even now, sitting here writing, i am numb. logical. unfeeling/unthinking. i can't imagine going to wayne co. and not hanging with lu. staying with ray in a huge empty house... well. maybe for a week, it won't be so empty.

we're going because we're not taking things for granted. we're going to visit with ray, tell him we love him (he walked me down the aisle at his house for my wedding-my folks were 2,ooo miles away) and maybe i'll start to feel a little bit. maybe i'll grieve, maybe i'll cry. but no more taking for granted.
posted by Alana @ 11:12 PM  
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Name: Alana
Home: Marquette, MI, United States
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